Find Your Tribe – written by Glenn D. Grace

I believe there’s an afterlife — one where selfish motives, bigotry and bloodshed from the bombs and bullets of war are nonexistent. In my soul, I feel that once we transcend from this life, we move onward to a great beyond, a realm where there is unbiased spirituality. It is indescribable — and therefore exceeds everything we can ever try to put into words.”

When you witness so many disturbingly selfish and downright repulsive actions in human beings that you have called family and friends, it changes you. The worst I’ve seen have been centered around moments of sickness and death of a loved one — moments where everyone should peacefully show up, but alas, this is not always the case. That “cockroach-like” mentality seems to appear at the most inopportune time, and it literarily sucks the life out of you.

When I left active addiction, I left behind many restless circles where that type of adverse energy seemed to flourish. This is the main reason I limit my presence at functions where loudness and obnoxiousness are present. I intentionally do this to protect my inner peace. I know that there are many people who like vibing in a space where loud ratchet behavior is in the forefront, but for me I want no parts of it.

I also know that there are certain social events that require us to be in attendance, and to engage with others that may like vibing at this kind of frequency, but I tend to avoid them, knowing very well that those type of aggressive mentalities will be present. To those who dig that kind of scene, more power to you.

As I’ve grown older and wiser, there is nothing more gratifying than peace. I am extremely grateful that I survived some of the stupid things I used to do; like driving intoxicated and roaming the streets at all hours of the night, knowing that my ass needed to be at work early the following morning. I cannot say that there weren’t some cool moments during that era, but like the saying goes, “been there, done that.”

The last couple of years have been challenging. The loss of loved ones has become something more prevalent as I age. It is said that growing older is a gift, and in many ways, it is; however, outliving your loved ones often overshadows the blessing that comes with that gift.

Currently, my younger brother has taken ill. It is a very serious situation and all I know how to do is be strong for his wife and his children. Our mother and father lived to 80, tack on four more years for our dad. We were granted the gift of becoming seniors ourselves before they passed, so we never knew young life without them.

My brother’s situation is very grave, but I believe in miracles. His wellbeing has my undivided focus, as I continue to do the things associated with survival. Far removed from me is the desire to fall apart and let everything I have worked for go. I have no desire to get high, nor do I have any desire to close the blinds in my room and sit in darkness like I used to before recovery. I put all that destructive behavior behind me.

As an addict in recovery, I know that many addicts use life adversities as an excuse to use; however, I know, without a sliver of doubt, that that only makes everything worse. My worst days sober are still better than my best days getting high. Does my heart ache about my brother’s situation? Yes. Do I feel helpless? No, because spirituality has given me a mental reasoning to accept the circle of life and everything that comes with it.

I intentionally keep the outside noise outside of these circumstances, because I don’t need it to be interfering with my rational thoughts. During times like this it is so easy to lose yourself in the darkest part of the moment, but in all honesty what good does that do? It doesn’t change the situation, does it?

I share quite a bit of how I’m feeling in my writings and in my videos on social media, but I’ve learned not to share everything. I keep the most precious and sacred to myself and will also share my thoughts with very close friends, because outsiders don’t often have my best interest at heart. Too many are just looky-loos being nosey, offering nothing supportive outside of a few empty words. Hey, it’s the truth.

If I leave you with anything this post, I hope it is encouragement to find and know your tribe. Having the right people around you that offer more than annoying phone calls and irritating prying really does make the difference when you’re going through major life changes.

I know, without a doubt, that my name has been in many mouths because of how I limit access to myself, but guess what, none of those badmouthing folk’s matter. Hell, they’re not around any other day, so why in the hell should it matter. People are entitled to feel the way they want, and guess what? They can do all that away from me.

Carpe’ Diem = Live Your Life,

Glenn

“Clean Heart,” from Sade’s “Stronger Than Pride,” one of my favorites.